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Tag Archives: Russian girl
I never liked the idea of Oriental women that much (from what we generally see here), but look at some of Psy’s music videos (OK, he is from Korea but similar genetic), some of the women in those are smokin’ with very western features. As a guy gets into his forties, he starts to appreciate the Oriental lady.
A pal of mine goes to China very often on business. Japan too. It seems many of those women like us. Disapproving locals call them “bananas” – yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
Its probably the new MOB (Mail Order Bride) market as the doors of the FSU close.
Well, I knew it wouldn’t be long before this came up again, and I think we are pretty much there. So I woke the topic up.
Here are some thoughts:
Guys – except the most determined, affluent and well-read – haven’t been going to Russia itself for about five years now. Everything in this industry has focused on Ukraine.
The reason for that is women in Russia are spread out across the largest country in the world (Meaning no multiple women visits). A visa is needed, and men like easy, and many have less money now. So they go to Ukraine instead. Smaller country, lots of people, cheaper to stay there, no visas, full “industry” set up to scam them help them to meet women.
Some thinking guys (the only recent marriages we saw) broke the mould and went to the Stans and Belarus. Probably better places for the FSU woman thing now in honesty, but the logistics put many men off (the ones who thought getting a $150 Russian visa was a hardship). Less easy to get to, hostility to Americans in some places, visas again, so just a general PIA.
Ukraine is now politically unstable. It is looking likely that Crimea will revert to Russian territory, and the rest will go through a period of unrest before joining the EU. I think EU membership will be accelerated by America outside forces; and the moment that happens Ukraine will be a closed shop for women. And I mean overnight. I saw it happen in the Baltics with my own eyes – and it was fast. Foreign looking women will get on a bus and go to London, Paris, Amsterdam, Milan or wherever they like and meet guys naturally. No need for overweight, two decade older guys from Wisconsin any more. Similar aged guys in Dresden or Brussels are very happy to meet them. :nod:
So where does that leave the so-called “Mail Order Bride” industry? 90% of it is internet fantasy, so college girls in Ukraine and elsewhere will keep writing to middle aged guys with no passports on fantasy pay-per-letter sites and make bolshoye djenghi doing so. Nothing new there.
But what for the small percentage of guys who will actually get on a plane and plan to make it happen? The door is slammed shut in the Baltics, Bulgaria, Romania and Poland. Russia, Belarus and the Stans are not “easy” for anything but the very serious guy who can afford to visit one woman at a time. The rest need someplace else.
Now for reasons we need not argue here, that place needs to be quite poor, not black and not Muslim. It needs lots of women, and they need to be slim to cater for most guys tastes. Again we find ourselves at the door of China.
The MOB industry knows what we want before we do – it is their job to know that. Many are now starting to face China. Aweb are running ads for Chinese girls, as are A Foreign Affair (Shenzhen and Chongqing tours already happening) as are Blossoms. The industry is changing focus. The industry has mostly left Russia, it is still active in Ukraine, but for how long? The business brains are thinking ahead, and they are all thinking the same way: China.
Anyone who travels in Europe frequently cannot have failed to notice the explosion of guys with Oriental looking wives. Some will probably be Thai, but many are Chinese. Guys from Scandinavia, Germany and Holland are increasingly marrying oriental ladies. While some guys in the UK and America do marry these ladies already, the “industry” and information resources as we know it with the Russian speaking market is not really as slick yet with the Chinese (or Thai) market. There are no major forums devoted to the subject for example.
I think the doors to the FSU are closing unless the guy has a passport (which many Americans don’t), and he has a decent disposable income and the time and inclination to travel multiple times to places that need a visa and visit one woman at a time. For those that can do that, the FSU is still a goldmine.
For those that are not inclined to do that, or cannot afford to do so, and for those that want an easy-peasy only-one-visit-and-import-a-wife (which is many) scenario, China seems a likely option.
That said, I am planning to start to do some some business in China this year and will likely be visiting there in October. I have been reading tons of books already on the culture, the language, and from what I have read already, I think getting in tune with that culture will be hard for many westerners.
So although the MOB industry is shifting from Russian speaking countries to China (and to a lesser extent Thailand, South Korea, Japan and Hong Kong) I think guys have a bigger learning curve to “get” that culture. And how can you marry a woman whose culture you don’t get? I don’t think you can successfully. As with Russian speaking countries, I think you need to take an interest in, and learn, her culture, some basic language and certainly the alphabet. As you expect her to do with yours.
Chinese girls are the new Russian girls. You read it here first. Continue reading
Why would a man want to marry a woman? Because in a cost/benefit analysis, the benefits of being with her outweigh the benefits of being alone – plain and simple!
When a man marries a woman, he makes an investment. He is investing 50% of everything he owns. Let’s compare that to the stock exchange! Imagine putting 50% of everything you own into a fund that may or may not give you an ROI, never mind the risk of a total failure.
When a man gives you that “piece of paper,” he is giving you a supposed lifetime of 50%. That’s a big investment! (Disclaimer: Pre-nups are entirely different, and are assessed on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes it’s an issue of trust, and sometimes it’s an issue of protecting your assets. This is usually a grey area that is not currently being discussed – we’re talking bare bones here.)
So, ladies, if a man is not marrying you, he’s just not that into you. You are not worth the risk just quite yet.
Yes, it has everything to do with you, as difficult as it is to admit. Get yourself into shape and find something to offer the guy!
The reverse is true as well – if a woman is not marrying you, it is because she feels that she is better off without you, or keeping you at a distance. If she is more selfish, she may be looking for someone with more money, or more to be gained. Chances are, you probably need to step up your game financially, as you are not meeting the standards! Continue reading
Whilst some foreign women are open to the idea of foreign guys, the language issue is a major hurdle to overcome. Many Russian and Ukrainian women surf the internet seeking foreign guys on forums and such in search of them.
However, the thought of a group of foreign guys discussing them en masse is a bit of a turn off for many. Many think some of the conversations are not entirely tasteful or respectful. At least, that’s the feedback I have had.
People on internet forums speak casually, with many errors and with much slang, it is not an ideal place to practice or develop English. There are also many variants of English language (and spellings) here from across the world. Occasionally, Aussies must translate something for the Brits; or the Brits for the Yanks, etc. How does a non-native speaker go on unless they are beyond fluent? And few are.
Our sharp humour and side-splitting repartee (where it exists) seldom translates literally; rather, it requires interpretation. Software cannot interpret; only people can. So the women who read here using a translation programme often read gobbledygook where the English variants, grammatical and spelling errors, slang and second meanings form a jumble of words that are far from what was intended by the respective authors.
Can bad English damage your communications?
It can. Many people try to cobble together a relationship with poor communication fuelled by free software translation. Software makes many errors; but more importantly, software is only as good as what you put into it.
As many will know, my wife does a lot of translation for guys in this pursuit. A few weeks ago, a guy sent her something for translation that she read, and read again, and much of it made no sense to her. The reason? No paragraphs, little punctuation or capitalisation and atrocious spelling and grammar.
She asked me if I would mind running quickly through it with a spell check, putting in a few paragraph breaks, and correcting the big howlers and try to turn it into something in a few minutes that she could comprehend. I did, and from that, she was able to make it in Russian, be what it was intended to be.
Missing punctuation leads to much ambiguity; meaning that one must ask the author what they meant, rather than it being clear in the first place. Get the punctuation right and the message (not to mention the translation) will be clear. Here is a good example of how altering punctuation can change the meaning:
A woman without her man is nothing.
A woman: without her, man is nothing.
I guess the point of the topic is to highlight to guys the importance of using the best English you are able to, when in communication with Russian, Ukrainian and FSU women. Continue reading
So you are seeking a woman from the former Soviet Union? Likely Russia or Ukraine. Ukraine has no visa requirements, so is easier right? In Ukraine, all the pretty girls seem to be from Odessa and Kiev. Why is that? I think this … Continue reading
A beautiful, slim, good-hearted woman as a wife is just a dream for most men. How hard is it to marry one from your country? An educated one? One with good traditional family values? One who doesn’t think she is … Continue reading
The so-called “mail order bride” industry, which primarily is focused on Ukraine, and secondly Russia, has been changing in recent years. The days of American guys rolling up in any Russian or Ukrainian city, flashing a US passport and being swamped in model-quality girls are long gone. This is 2011, not 1991. Women are not desperate to leave any more.
Men seeking a Russian or Ukrainian wife need to understand the dynamics of the society they delve into. Men fixated on the idea of importing a model-quality wife, twenty-five years younger than themselves are likely heading for disappointment. It has passed into internet folklore the “fact” that any obese, older guy can snag himself a super sexy Eastern European wife with little more to offer than his country of residency and his wallet. He can still do that as long as he accepts that the marriage will likely not last longer than the time it takes her to get a green card or permanent residency in his country.
The sensible guys nowadays need to accept their limitations. This does not mean that a guy cannot delve into Eastern Europe, if he knows what he is doing, and end up with a well-intentioned and beautiful wife. He can. But occasionally, reality checks are in order.
I was recently communicating with a British man who had made over thirty trips to Ukraine in search of a wife. After several years, and all these trips to Ukraine, he is still wifeless. No good prospects on the cards either. In these circumstances, we must examine not only him, but what he is looking for, and ascertain if it is realistic.
The gentleman in question is in his fifties, and has one or more ex-wives in the UK. He has a number of children; some of whom are either resident with, or spend significant time with him. One of these children has some type of special needs requirement. He is a nice guy; intelligent, witty and personable from what I can make out. He is affluent enough to afford the whole foreign wife endeavour (which many men are not).
What is he seeking? A large breasted, yet extremely slim and very beautiful woman in her twenties; that is twenty to thirty years his junior. Is that realistic? No. Here was my advice to him:
Your situation isn’t what local women seek to embrace; they already eschewed it. Why would a two decade younger, beautiful one, with a large chest from a poor country embrace it? Times are a changing. Desperation is fading. Your lack of success is testament to that. A reality check is needed. Late 30’s and early 40’s is the group you should be looking in. Perhaps with a kid or two.
My advice was not well received.
What many men in a similar position fail to realise is that desperation in these countries is fading. Finances are improving and women are less likely to choose self-export via marriage as a life choice as that happens. This is underlined by the fact that the “mail order bride” industry pretty much doesn’t exist any more in the affluent corners of the former Soviet Union (FSU) and proliferates in the more impecunious corners. Scamming also proliferates in the impecunious corners as desperation breeds corruption and dishonesty.
As proof of this, if we look at some FSU countries, we will see that the “mail order bride” industry has vanished altogether. In relatively affluent Estonia, Latvia and the Czech Republic, women are not seeking self-export via marriage as a life choice. There is not a single foreign-facing marriage/dating agency in Estonia any more. There hasn’t been for a decade or more.
Compare that to Ukraine. Ukraine is still bristling with foreign-facing dating and marriage agencies; new ones are opening every day (the honesty of many of these is open to question but that is not the subject here). Russia still has many agencies based there, but fewer in the more affluent corners like Moscow and Saint Petersburg. In Russia, the agencies reside in places that fewer foreigners venture to. Places like Rostov, Samara, Togliatti (Tolyatti), Vladivostok and Barnaul.
The link between women’s desire to export themselves and average income is an undeniable fact.
On the other side of the coin, I was recently communicating with an American man who also complained about his lack of success in the Eastern European dating arena. He told me:
I am good looking, healthy and relatively young. I have a good job and make good money. I know how to treat women very well. I am enjoyable to be with. I am interested in starting a family and having children.
Most women on learning this will think, “What’s wrong with him then?” and will muse on why he can’t find a woman at home. They simply will not believe the accounts given by Americans of the bad dating environment in the US; the “entitlement” attitude they encounter, and the subsequent lack of availability of appropriate and slim women.
His “benefits” of being young, in good shape and of a normal state of mind may actually work against him in some circumstances. I would be inclined to explain to the women I wrote, in a very careful manner, why I was seeking a woman from abroad if in his shoes (without disrespecting my local women). Its like sales training for those that ever had it; overcome the customer’s objections before they are even raised. Marketing oneself long-distance to women is a skill that takes honing and development.
The introduction letter is a vital tool; a first impression that cannot be left to chance. One must hire a competent Russian interpreter and translator to help craft and hone your introduction letter. Preferably a female one, as women understand the target market: Women.
Understanding the society you are delving in is also essential. You cannot rely on the twaddle written on dating sites. Russian dating sites are geared up toward telling you what you want to hear. They will wax lyrical about how these ladies “love to make cosy home” and “love to cook tasty meals” – which may be true sometimes. But not all the time. You will find the same guff written on the profile of many “professional daters” (scammers to you), often from Odessa or Kiev, who entertain a different foreign guy each weekend, and have a Prada and D&G fetish. Preferably at your expense.
To get to the real facts about a Russian or Ukrainian wife, and how, in 2011/12, you can find one, you need to educate yourself. This means learning from those who have spent much time in the former Soviet Union; and who are in a cross cultural marriage already.
The road to a beautiful Russian or Ukrainian wife is still possible to travel; but you must enter the arena educated and with a good idea in advance of what is possible and what is not.
The “mail order bride” industry is changing. Marriage agencies are not the future. As Russian and Ukrainian women embrace the internet at home, social networks are the way forward. Sites like Planet Love Match have recognised this already and are responding to the changing environment. Mix the dating site together with a social networking site, in both languages – brilliant but simple.
Foreign dating is changing. Get ahead of the curve by educating yourself.
Stuart J. Smith is the co-author of the Russian Bride Guide: How to meet, court and marry a woman from the former Soviet Union. He has guested on many radio shows on the “mail order bride” subject. He runs the busiest Russian women information discussion forum on the internet today. Continue reading
After the plane arrived into Penza this kind old man help me with some luggage and guide me through the airport of Penza in order to recover my other baggage in that part she was waiting. I saw her and she was so much taller than she claimed to be, I think she is 180 (she said she was 175) she was wearing a red coat and boots so she looked quite impressive………….. Continue reading
When I was buying my ticket in Munich, a guy behind me heard where I was going and said, “Good luck” . Before I could turn and ask him some questions he was gone. Oh, how I wished I would have spoken to him! Continue reading