First Trip to Nikolaev, Ukraine

By | December 13, 2008

After a very disappointing few months with eHarmony (oh the shallow women!!!), I decided to make the plunge into the FSU forum of opportunity.  A month of investigation and I ended up with my profile on Elena’s, Anastasia, AFA, TAU2, and a few others.  I chose about a dozen women from these sites and prepared a lengthy letter of introduction and had it professionally translated ($120 for the 5 pages).  I am aware of the discussion on this topic (introduction letter length), and have to say that, what will work for one, may not work for another.  My opinion on the length of letter depends on what you write, and who you send it to.  For me, I received a 100% positive response to my first letter.  This was late April. 

As far as how I chose the women?  I poured over the profiles of a dozen different agencies for a month;  First looking for women in the age group that I had selected (35-50), all of which would have a child (preferably older).  I wanted a woman that would not be looking to have another child (I am too old to start another family at 51), but would also not be in a situation of disappointment at not having a child if she was not already a parent.  In addition I wanted her to have an education and be working as a professional, the type of work was not important.  Primarily I was looking for a woman that I would be able to understand and communicate with.  The final requirement was physical attraction.  I actually wanted to find a woman that I was attracted to also (what a surprise).  The bottom line here is, I went to many agencies and put my requirements into the search engines and waited for the pictures to pop up.  I would then store the profiles in my favorites section and then read the profiles at my leisure.  I estimate that I looked at 10,000 pictures, read several hundred profiles and actually considered around 50 candidates.  In the end, I sent inquiries to 12.

It was late April when I began my correspondence.  For me, one big trigger with respect to a woman’s suitability is her ability (and desire)  to write.  For me, communication is very important, and I find in most cases, it is far more difficult for a woman to deceive with a well written letter (form letters do not fly in this situation, because the woman must communicate, not just talk at me, as you would find in a form letter from a scammer).  It took about a month to bring the field down to 3 women.  After another month I was down to one, and very happy with the progress at that point.  In fact, that was when I made my plane reservation to visit the Ukraine.  My visit would be to just one woman.  Would I have a backup plan?  At one point prior to my departure, I started to make arrangements, but it was due to a mis communication more than anything else, and in the end I went without a fall back plan.  I cannot recommend this method to everyone, it was an individual preference for me, and how you plan must be what will work for you.  For me, I wanted my lady to understand that I was coming to visit her, and only her.  She told me later that if she was only one stop on my trip of many women, our meeting would have been significantly different as far as she was concerned.  She understood the concept of WMVM, and was not a big fan.  She said she would not waste her time on any man who considered her just a “stop” on his tour.  I can understand this position.  If a woman takes the time to write and speak to a man before he arrives (honestly, not casually as so many women seem to want) then she expects as much on his part.  In a perfect world I am sure this is true.  Unfortunately there are way too many variables here, so all I could hope for was luck.  To me, the WMVM and WOVO both have their strong points, and it is up to the man “and” the woman to decide what works best for them.  For me, I guess it will be “write one,visit one.”

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And so, it begins…………..

Day (-1)  Thursday, 7 August

I have finally finished packing and am off from work cleaning up a few loose ends.  The  process of preparing was a bit nerve wracking due to my over preparation nature.  The past few weeks at work were so involved I was running on empty when it came to reviewing in my head the final details.  Thank goodness I made check lists of the final preparations so I don’t have to rely on my burnt out peanut of a brain.

I called my lady that morning just to make sure everything was going well.  She was very excited on the phone and although I am using an interpreter, I could hear how happy she was.  I have arranged for a car to pick her up in Nikolaev and meet me at the airport.  I am almost more nervous about the flight as I am about meeting her.  It should be interesting considering I am not sure about her exact English capabilities and we have decided to forego the interpreter until the day after I arrive.

Day 1     Friday, 8 August

Friday 0500, I am up and proceed with the preparations to head to the Airport.  A friend will arrive at 0600 and drive me out to SFO.  Of course I am ready at 0530 and wander through my home checking and rechecking everything for the 2 weeks of coming absence.  0600 and my ride arrives. 

After a 48 minute drive, I am outside the International terminal with bags in hand.  Almost three hours before the flight and I am getting worried because there is no LOT flight displayed.  I remember that LOT is a code share with United, so I ask at the UAL counter about the flight.  This is when I find out that the first leg is a domestic flight even though I will check in for an International destination.  I am off to terminal 3 to check in…now I am glad I arrived 3 hours before my departure time.

This story is continued on Russian Ukrainian Adventures Russian Women Information Forum, and is part reproduced here with their permission.

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