Guidance for Female Instagram Models: Navigating Comments and DMs

By | August 7, 2023

Guidance for Female Instagram Models: Navigating Comments, DMs, and Establishing Boundaries with Grace and Efficiency

Instagram has become a powerful platform for female models to showcase their talents, personalities, and beauty to a vast and engaged audience. With increasing popularity comes a growing number of interactions from followers, admirers, and potential fans. However, managing comments on posts and direct messages (DMs) can be overwhelming for many models, leading to stress and confusion about how to engage with their audience effectively whilst not appearing rude or aloof to proper fans.

In this post, we aim to provide comprehensive guidance for female Instagram models on how to handle comments on posts and DMs while establishing clear boundaries to maintain a positive and respectful online presence. The key principle we propose is to tailor your engagement based on the level of effort and loyalty exhibited by the commenters, focusing more on meaningful interactions with subscribers and super fans.

Guidance for Female Instagram Models: Navigating Comments, DMs, and Establishing Boundaries

The Importance of Engaging with Followers

Engaging with followers is essential for building a strong and supportive community around your profile. But how you engage with different people should differ. Followers appreciate the personal connection, and it encourages them to continue engaging with your content and potentially introduce others to your profile. However, as your following grows, managing each post comment and DM becomes increasingly challenging.

Some women choose not to engage with certain groups of people at all. Often those who hail from cultures not known for their respect for women. If that’s you, you will often recognise them from their user names. Don’t feel bad about completely ignoring all comments and DMs from them. They are highly unlikely to turn into paying customers or subscribers. Leave them as followers of course, but don’t engage with them.

Handling Short Comments and Emojis on Posts

Inevitably, you’ll receive numerous comments on your posts that consist of just one or two words, emojis, or gifs. While these comments might not contribute significantly to your engagement, it’s still good practice to acknowledge them. A simple “like” on the comment is a perfect way to show gratitude without investing too much time. The commenter will get a notification you liked his comment. That’s enough.

Encouraging Non-Followers

Thoughtful and personalised comments on posts from users who don’t follow your account but take the time to write a few sentences or a paragraph deserve some appreciation. These blokes have shown genuine interest in your content and are potential followers or subscribers. Consider replying with an emoji or a short response like “Thank you” or “I appreciate your kind words.” Such interactions can motivate them to follow your profile and stay engaged.

Responding to Followers

Your followers are your loyal supporters, and they deserve a little bit more attention and appreciation. When a follower writes a thoughtful comment, take a moment to reply with a more personalised response. A few words like “Thank you” or “You’re so kind” accompanied by a “kiss” or “thank you” emoji can go a long way in strengthening your bond with your followers. If they speak another language, consider responding to something particularly nice, personalised and thoughtful in their own language occasionally (Google Translate). You want them to become super fans.

Nurturing Super Fans

Our guidance for female Instagram models is to only engage properly with your super fans.

Super fans are the backbone of your online community, as they go above and beyond to support you. They may follow you on several platforms. These are men who may subscribe to your Patreon, OnlyFans, or similar platforms, buy your products or services (maybe used stockings or WhatsApp calls, etc.), buy stuff from your Amazon list, and consistently like and comment on all your posts. Often they are long-term fans. You may have had some of them for years and never noticed them.

Make an effort to engage them genuinely by replying with a nice comment or asking a follow-up question about their thoughts. Use their name if you see it or know it, a “Thanks so much, Paul” and an emoji will make them feel closer to you.

Also, other men will then see you responded meaningfully to that bloke above, but not them. They may then go to your bio link and see how they might get your attention. Subscribing or tipping you is the answer, isn’t it?

Recognising the loyalty of super fans will foster a deeper connection and encourage them to continue supporting you. But don’t get into DM chit-chat with them for free, if they message you, no reply and a double tap to like will usually suffice. See below for more on idle chit-chat.

Setting Boundaries and Managing Time

As an Instagram model, it’s crucial to prioritise your time and mental well-being. Engaging with your audience is essential, but it should not consume all your time and energy. Set aside specific time slots each day to interact with your followers, ensuring you stay engaged while also maintaining a healthy balance.

Dealing with Negative Comments on Posts

Unfortunately, not all comments will be positive or respectful. We suggest you should not engage at all with negativity or trolls. When you encounter negative comments, just use the “delete” and “block” options to remove harmful or useless content and protect your comment environment. Similarly, comments such as “Share it with @XXX account”, “We need a model like you, DM @XXX account”, “DM me” or “I sent you a DM, it will be in your hidden requests” is just spam, delete those from your comment section and block the sender (or restrict if a follower).

Managing Direct Messages (DMs) for Female Instagram Models

Direct Messages (DMs) can be an essential part of interacting with your followers and potential fans on Instagram (although we recommend directing them to email). However, as your following grows, managing the influx of unsolicited DMs can become overwhelming and potentially lead to negative experiences and consequences.

If you are married (or attached), and run your “sexy page” with the support of your husband (who is probably your photographer too), it’s important to stay within the rules you have both agreed to. If you let random blokes slide into your DMs without his knowledge, and you engage in idle chit-chat with them (or start sending cheeky photos by DM), he isn’t going to be very happy, and this will impact your relationship and end badly. Make sure he is in the loop. Make sure he can review your DMs at any time and know what is going on. That will keep the trust strong.

If you run your “sexy Instagram page” or platforms like Patreon or OnlyFans with permission, encouragement, or approval from your husband or boyfriend, he isn’t doing that so he can be emasculated or undermined (unless he likes cuckoldry). He’s not doing it so you can build relationships with other men. He is doing it so you can both enjoy the sexual confidence it gives you. And maybe he enjoys showing you off a little and enjoys photographing you in stockings and/or sexy outfits.

Keep your “real life” separate from your “Instagram model” life. No personal phone numbers (get a 2nd phone if you do WhatsApp chat), no specific (real) locations on posts, and nobody becoming a “special friend” (unless you have his explicit permission for that). Our guidance for female Instagram models is to be cautious of people who seek to slowly and covertly build a relationship with you and gain your trust (Read >this article< on adult grooming). They are more likely to be paying clients, super fans, and people who manage pages that share your content too. Always keep your guard up. Remember, these people are not your personal friends, they are your fans, clients, or business associates at best. Make sure all communication is on your terms, and under your rules.

Turn Off DMs and Encourage Email Communication

One effective way to streamline your interactions and limit exposure to unsolicited DMs is to turn off your DMs entirely to unsolicited contact. On your profile, clearly state that you have disabled DMs and encourage people to reach out to you via email instead. See >>this woman’s profile<< for how it is done. Include an email link on your profile or on your Linktree bio page, providing a direct email option for serious enquiries, subscription requests, or product purchases.

By implementing this approach, all new DMs from users will be redirected to a separate folder under “requests” and then “hidden requests.” This way, you can review these messages periodically and decide whether any of them warrant a response. You can reply to anything half serious with a link to your email contact page, but most unsolicited DMs can be deleted without engaging with the sender, protecting your time and energy. Collaborations from genuine, established pages (look at the likes and comments, not the follower number as that is easily faked) you may want to engage with by DM.

Prioritise Serious Enquiries

Serious followers, super fans, subscribers, or potential customers will respect your preference for email communication. By taking the initiative to email you, they not only reveal their email address (and location if you know how to find it via headers) but demonstrate a genuine interest in your content or offerings. Respond to these emails promptly and professionally, fostering a positive and trustworthy relationship with your loyal supporters.

Maintain a Safe Environment

By encouraging email communication, you also minimise the likelihood of encountering negativity or harassment. Since those who wish to engage with you seriously will email you directly, the chances of receiving harmful or disrespectful messages are significantly reduced. Those who email you are the ones who read your profile and see your preferences.

Allow Two-Way Communication with Established Connections

While turning off DMs to prevent unsolicited messages is essential, it’s equally important to allow two-way communication with established connections. Users with whom you’ve previously exchanged DMs (subscribers or owners of niche pages for example) or those with whom you initiate conversations should be able to message you without any hindrance – even with your DMs turned off. The setting only applies to new contacts.

Avoid Meaningless Chit Chat

Don’t engage with those who message you without a clear purpose. Don’t engage with DMs that say things like “Wow, you are so hot”. As soon as you reply “Thank you”, you’ve opened the door to chats and your unfiltered DM box. Many men will seek to get you into these two-way chats and hope to develop a free “girlfriend experience” over time, along with a few intimate photos, and perhaps eventually become your “friend” and maybe even get some free sex.

Resist this unless you want to specifically get your kicks this way. You also risk exposing personal information you might be located or identified through via idle chit-chat. You might end up in a loop replying to some bloke every day, multiple times a day for zero money. Our guidance for female Instagram models is don’t do idle chit-chat at all, by email or DM. Not unless you are very confident you can turn this person into a subscriber or customer of your other services.

Additionally, don’t give your subscribers and customers extra free idle chit-chat or DMs. Not unless that is part of the service they are paying for. Many will expect this to come for free alongside whatever they are paying for. Remember: your time and interaction costs money. It should not be free. Frequent extra chit-chat is an add-on, it’s not included in whatever they bought before or subscribed to. And it is not in exchange for a tip, gift, or donation – they come without obligation. Say thank you by all means, but don’t let it develop into a free chat service.

How to Weed Out the Timewasters

You need to weed out timewasters on email or DM pretty quickly. The way to do this is by saying something like, “You know, I get so many messages, and I’m so busy. I’m only able to engage with people like this if they support me via my [insert your own tip/donation page/Amazon wish list], or are my Patreon/OnlyFans subscribers or customer of my [insert your own service or product]“.

Remember: Time is money. If they want to engage with you, maybe pay for some chat time? Subscribe to your platforms. A tip or a little something from your Amazon wishlist is a good way to start separating the men from the boys. Those who might spend or subscribe in the future will this way be immediately separated from those who just want free chat. If they won’t spend an initial £5-£10 for the privilege of engaging with you after they enjoyed your free content, they will never become proper paying customers of your other services and platforms.

This way, if they want to continue the chat for much longer, you can introduce them to your subscription platform or any pay-per-call, chat or purchase options you might offer. Remember, they have already enjoyed your public Instagram content for free. Much beyond that needs to cost money.

Guidance for Female Instagram Models: Navigating Comments, DMs, and Establishing Boundaries

Your goal is to turn as many interactions as possible into subscribers or customers and weed out the freeloaders. Sometimes that starts with a tip or small gift. DM or email chat is a privilege that should lead to earnings, not an expectation to get something for nothing. If they want free chit-chat, let them try to get your attention in the public comments, not your inbox.

Ignore and Block Negative Interactions

Unfortunately, even with strict measures in place, some negative interactions may still occur. If you receive offensive or harmful DMs or comments, remember not to respond or engage at all. Our guidance for female Instagram models is to promptly delete and block the sender to protect your emotional well-being and maintain a safe and respectful environment for yourself and your genuine supporters.


Navigating comments on posts and DMs as a female Instagram model can be challenging, especially as your following grows. By turning off unsolicited DMs and encouraging email communication, you can streamline your interactions and prioritise genuine supporters, subscribers, and customers. This approach fosters a more meaningful and positive connection with your audience.

Remember to review hidden DM requests periodically and maybe direct serious enquiries to email. By establishing clear boundaries and promoting a safe environment, you can focus on building a strong and supportive community around your profile. Embrace the power of email communication to limit negative DM interactions and create a positive space where your followers can engage with you genuinely. Nobody who is genuine will be shy about revealing an email address.

However, by comparison, “John3547654” with no profile photo and a private profile is just an online shadow. It could be anyone. He might live a mile away from you. He could be your next stalker. He may well be someone you would not normally choose to interact with.

Be careful out there, as they used to say on the TV programme Hill Street Blues.

As ever, your comments and thoughts are welcome below.

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